Ben H. Swett
Reflex Alert Barracks, Upper Heyford RAFB, UK
1 April 1964

I was trying to draft a letter to my son, Scott, whose seventh birthday was coming up on 18 April. Not doing well. I scribbled on and crumpled up one piece of paper after another. Then I got the idea of focusing my love on Scott, making notes as though through his eyes, to help God help Scott. I began to make some notes, and was suddenly startled to see my hand writing things that I was not thinking:

Too much ... much too much dabbling, Ben/Wyn. Not enough love, Reano, peace, caring. Do not tell him so much. Confuses him, makes him doubt you or any love him. Cried because teacher, grandmother, and father all left. Does not believe mother loves him, at times. Loves brother, but afraid he is first in eyes of Wyn. Loves father, but fears his punishments. Scoldings do bad. Open, open, open to him, Ben. See God in him, and all.

I recognized this point-of-view, vocabulary, touch, and type of message. I tried not to get excited or eager, to stay just as I was, focusing my love on Scott.

Too much knowledge, not enough love. Let him grow. Takes time, and love, and actions.  Sees love in smiles, hugs ... not rides, toys, or even books. Attitudes, not things! Wants father home. Wants father to want him always around him. Scott is a good boy, and knows it. Feels he is usually right. Attacking errors can not change his mind. Love first, then reason. Spanking not necessary with this boy. Reason is better. Love is best.

Together projects OK, but boy must be goal, not Dad's enjoyment of project. Let Scott lead Bruce; must. Plans not too far ahead. Waiting tires little feet. Now is his time; now, and not wait for later. Later means never.

Boat idea is OK, but quit when he quits, and play with him. He is goal, not boat. Boat not to cabin; boys to cabin. Not only letting them help U, U help them with their desires. Follow their leading, too.

Book of Reano treasure good, Ben, but let it be his treasure, not yours. You may help at first, then let him lead in finding his own treasures. Yours are not his. Do not insist on it. Remind him gently only. Let it be fun. Reano must be that, or it dies, doesn't it?

Incarnation ideas too big yet. Only hint, like your mother did. Reach out to him in your letters; let him see that you prefer him to things he knows you love, like writing, reading, boating, and flying.

"Wyn's idea of introducing him to music, to show him another kind of beauty?"

Show a beauty idea is OK, at first, and for its attitude. Do not insist he agree.

I felt a thought: Enough for this letter, and asked if that feeling was correct. Yes.
End session. Wrote a letter to Scott, trying to do as instructed. A fairly good letter.

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